I need Thee every hour

#SheReadsTruth #Hymns Day 5

This hymn used to make me very uncomfortable. I don’t need anyone and most definitely not every hour, I used to think. This is obviously for the weak and feeble not the strong and self reliant. I can do it on my own. Oh how my thoughts sounded like the words I said to my parents at the age of four while singing a song on camera- “no! I do it!” It seems as though my strong-willed tendencies have only grown stronger with age. It’s a facade though. I know as well as those closest to me who have seen me crack under my self-imposed pressure, that I can’t do it. Not on my own, no matter how hard I try. There’s something in my spirit that likes a challenge. That likes pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I like this place very much because it’s where I learn more about myself- what is in me that I never would have known otherwise. It’s where I grow and learn the most. I believe God put that spirit in me for a purpose. He did not make me to be comfortable. He made me to test my limits to love that place where I know I’m not strong enough. God loves that place. I believe more than I do because it’s there that He meets me. It’s there that He says, daughter you have shown up and that’s all that I ask of you, now watch me come through for you. Watch me be Your strength. As I reflect on what’s to come this year as I step WAY out of my comfort zone to join the national guard and all that entails I can’t help but be excited in-spite of my fear. It means I will be in that place that both God and I love- right past the boundary of my capabilities and strength. I know that in that place this summer God is going to meet me in so many tangible ways and I am going to learn that God only wants me to show up, be available and to realize I do need Him every hour. While talking with a friend of mine last night I had an “aha moment.” We were talking about knowing God through experience. A lightbulb went off as I realized we only experience God to the extent that we allow Him into our lives. If we only “need Him” in the difficult times and the big decisions He’ll be there to meet us, but how much more could we know Him if we needed Him every hour! The truth is I do need Him every hour- in fact I need Him right now on this lazy Saturday afternoon to get up off this comfortable chair, put down my coffee and to learn how to do those military push-ups I will become very well acquainted with in just a few short months! Come on God, let’s do this!


Germany News

I’m back from Germany so here is a blip of what I can share with you. I saw God’s glory shine in Berlin, Lychen and the island of Sylt as his love broke through the barriers of the individual hearts we had the privilege of ministering to. We helped put on a three church event in Berlin. We were support staff to some wonderful Germans at three youth camps in Lychen, where we taught classes on english, how to have a personal relationship with God, servant leadership and build your own paper airplane. From swimming in the lake nearby, teaching the cotton eye joe to all the campers or challenging them to volleyball games, it was a fun few weeks! We lead youth in worship services and to the truth as we shared testimonies and sermons. Finally our last week was spent in Sylt and God told us He wanted to do more that week than in the past five and that’s exactly what He did! We led youth services and hang outs at the YWAM base on the island, while encouraging their ministry they have been developing over the years. Personally God took me deeper in my willingness to trust Him with every detail of my life, for every need He wants to be my provider. I learned that in order for my faith to grow I had to put myself in situations that stretched me, I also learned how to love others deeper as I left pieces of myself scattered in Germany. I loved until it physically hurt but I am stronger because of it. Deutschland you were so good to me!

I gave God a year of my life and I gained riches that cannot be numbered. I gained knowledge of God’s character, I gained insight into my personal ministry, I gained experience on the mission field both stateside and overseas, I gained lifelong friends and mentors. I am one rich girl! None of this could have been mine if it weren’t for your support so I thank you for what you gave be it, kind words, prayer or finances. What you have done for my life and the kingdom cannot be measured. Be blessed!

Sharing God’s perfect love in Germany

Our Germany team has been sharing Jesus with youth. Here’s just one of their stories, from Hilary, a student in our School of Ministry Development.

I was annoyed. My desire was to connect in a deeper way with the kids at the English camps we were hosting in Lychen, Germany. But the language barrier was difficult to overcome, and I found myself in a constant battle against fear and apathy.

God created Michaela to be a brave proclaimer of truth, but fear was holding her back.
So when I became friends with Michaela, I was excited. Just that morning God had been challenging me to be bold in asking for breakthrough in ministry. I had prayed to connect with someone on a spiritual level, and that’s exactly what happened. The more I got to know Michaela, the more the Holy Spirit began to show me about her. I saw how God had created Michaela to be brave, to be a proclaimer of truth. I also saw that fear was holding her back.

Every evening at camp we gathered for worship, teaching, and testimonies. And every evening, Michaela would pull me aside afterwards to ask question after question about my relationship with Jesus. She said she wanted to know him intimately, like I did, but she didn’t know how to overcome her fear. I shared with her from 1 John 4:18, how because of God’s love we don’t have to be afraid. But I knew there was more God needed to reveal to her to make that truth a reality in her life.

“There is no fear in love.
Perfect love casts out all fear.” – 1 John 4:1
One night as Michaela approached me once again, I sensed that there was something specific that God wanted to minister to her. When I asked God to show me what to share with her, he showed me a picture of Michaela gold mining. She was filling up her backpack with fool’s gold while real gold was right beside her, right where she was afraid to dig. I shared what God had shown me, how Jesus was the “real gold.” I told her, “God is calling you to stop searching for salvation in all the wrong places. He’s calling you to just come to him!”

Michaela started to cry. She said, “I have never felt like anyone understood me until now.” All night she kept saying over and over, “God is so good! God is so amazing!” It was clear that the truth of God’s love was hitting home.

On the last day of camp, Michaela told me she was afraid to go home, because no one supported her faith. (This is a common story in “post-Christian” Germany; many of our campers, if they know Jesus at all, are the only Christians in their families and schools.) Michaela and I prayed together that God would give her opportunities back home and show her how he wanted to keep working in her life.

And once again, God answered our prayers! Four days after she left, Michaela wrote, telling me she’d had a conversation with her dad that was deeply healing, reconciling years of conflict.

I’d been tempted to strive, or just give up, instead of trusting God for breakthrough. I’m so glad that he overcame my fear, and Michaela’s, with his perfect love.

He is enough!

Just yesterday God blew my mind with answered prayer. Not only my prayer but the prayers of my mom and our friends. He did all of this in one coffee conversation yesterday evening. Still exhausted from two weeks of ministry I was trying to gear up for Germany but this time lacking a substantial amount of enthusiasm that is there every other time I leave the country. I was discouraged and the lies of the enemy were perpetual because I still was $800 short for my funds. Lies like why serve a God who won’t provide for you, God isn’t your provider. You can provide for yourself. I immediately recognized the lies for what they were- joy and confidence killers. I asked God will you please give me an opportunity to know that I know that I know that You are my provider. I don’t want to have the idea and opinion that you are my provider I don’t want to just believe I want the conviction that You are my provider. Immediately a friend texted asking when I left for Germany and if I still had time to meet. I said, “yes” and after borrowing a vehicle I headed out to see her. We talked for about an hour about her mission trip to the D.R. as well as our families and what I will be doing in Germany for 2 months. She proceeded to ask me how she and her husband could help me. I told her that as well as prayer I still needed $800 to reach my goal. “It’s done.” That’s all she said as she reached in her wallet to write me a check for just that amount. Overwhelmed with God’s immediate answer with provision I burst into tears circling around to embrace her. She explained to me that since she and her husband were between churches they didn’t have a regular tithe and were asking God what to do with the extra- my need was their answer to prayer. After immediately calling my mom with the news she called my sister to tell her of God’s faithfulness along with calling to thank Jennifer for her generosity those conversations answered my moms prayers for encouragement for my sister. I am now on my last flight destination- Germany and I am praising God for His faithfulness to me, even when my attitude is less than right and my courage is depleted. He is my provider!
“The Lord is my shepherd I shall lack nothing.” Psalm 23:1

I am the vine- Remain in Me

As a child of God I am not living for love rather I am living from love. This week my friend Cassidy confronted me about my relationships. We were talking about who from our group would be going to Germany and who from our group would be going to nicaragua. She asked me who I was closest to on the Germany team and I knew where she was going. Cassidy has been the friend in SOMD who knows me the best and normally will see issues in my life that I am blind to. She will lovingly confront me on these issues as I her’s. Cassidy is a lot like me so developing a relationship happened organically back at the beginning of DTS. However the other girls I have more surface relationships with. I know many things about them but when it comes to allowing them to know me I am distant. This conversation brought up painful past experiences with friends in which I was simply cut off. I spent much of my highschool years developing these friendships but when I went through a difficult season in my life I was left to fend for myself. Now over DTS God healed me of this through forgiveness and showing me how my friends were an idol in my life through highschool. My identity was so tied to their opinions of me and that constance of our relationship that I had completely lost my identity. He used that very diffcult season to bring me back to Him and to find my source of identity in truth. However even though my heart had been healed the enemy was still having his way with my mind. He simply had convinced me that settling with just a few close friends and family were all the relationships that I needed. Anyone else was not worth the investment because they would just end up hurting me in the end. In talking this over with Cassidy and even in writing this now I can clearly see how the ridiculousness of my thought life when it came to relationships. I was living in fear of man. Man was still controlling me. I didn’t recognize it at first because the enemy is sly and had turned the tables on me. Rather than tempting me to try and please my friends he was tempting me to hide who I was. Both had the same effect on my life and both stemmed from not knowing and believing God’s love toward me. God told me this week though when I asked Him how He viewed me, “Hilary, our relationship started with me dying for you because you mean that much to me, and this is my covenant with you and I am with you for the long run.” I was astounded by God’s words and my heart stood still at the significance of his words to me. Not only did His statement take our relationship to a deeper level but it gave me a whole new perspective toward those around me. I had a new desire to love them. I mean really love them. Not for how they could make me feel or do for me but because God feels the same way toward them. This is the beginning to a whole new season in my life, brought about by the healing of God’s love. A season of sincere love! I am so thankful for faithful friends, a loving God and new beginnings!

Fly on my Fathers Wings

This week I received a revelation from God! He said that I am a guide for the blind- one who goes before and marks the way. He reminded me of a song from my favorite childhood movie that goes like this. “I will fly on my Fathers wings to places I have never been, there is so much I’ve never seen but I can feel my heart beat still and I will do great things on my Father’s wings!”
God then gave me the picture of me on his shoulders. He said to me, “spread your arms because your flying and I’m holding on to you.” It can be scary stepping out, being the one who goes first, taking risks but this is who God has made me to be and He’s got me so I can fly!

School of my dreams

Hey everyone, I made it to SOMD! I am always blown away by how God provides all the money I need in such a short time. He is so not limited by time or need! I have settled into the schedule but am still not used to the work load yet. Amos (our leader) gave us all the important dates on our calendar and just as I suspected there won’t be much free time but I am here for much more than sleep and fun. I want to grow in the knowledge of God and my character I am already a pro at fun and sleep 😉

We found out we will be leading a lot of STOs (short term outreaches) right here in Louisville, doing everything from designing t-shirts to leading small groups and writing Bible studies for high-school aged kids. It’s going to be a wild ride.

Yesterday I found out I get to lead the local ministry team to Baxter avenue. I have had a heart for Baxter ever since I first drive by 5 years ago. Last year I did my local ministry there and The Lord told me one day I’d be ministering to the women in the community. I got glimpses of leading Bible studies and ministering to their felt and evident needs. Well this Spring it’s happening! The Lord provides!

I am beyond blessed to have this season to narrow in my focus on my passions and purpose. I am already amazed at how The Lord is expounding on things already on my heart. He’s solidifying me and grounding me in truth. Thank you for all your support in my endeavors. For those of you who know me, I’m not short on dreams and determination. My prayer is that what is in my flesh would fall away and what is from God would remain.

P.s. I love letters, encouragement and conversation. If you would like to contact me there are three ways.

E-mail- inhimthroughhim@gmail.com

Address- 3402 Goose Creek Road
Louisville, KY 40241

Cell Phone- (502) 377-7914

If you live in Louisville and want to meet up lets get coffee or food! I’m free evenings and weekends. Face to face convos are always the best!

Thanks again, friends.
Be blessed!